I was reminiscing about my experiences as a collegiate
athlete the other day. Perhaps it was sparked by the incredulous looks of
fellow doc students who walked in my office and saw the poster of me hitting a
backhand, or perhaps it was driving by the track and seeing the women’s tennis
team gearing up for their mile run. Perhaps I’m getting old and am looking
forward to saying to my kids one day “When I was your age…”
Whatever it is that sparked my trip down memory lane, I
thank it. Sometimes we get too worked up about what’s going on in the future
that we don’t take the time to appreciate what has helped shaped us today from the
past. Sometimes it’s bad to look back, but sometimes reflection really makes
you appreciate the strides you’ve made in your life, whether it be school
related, tennis related, or anything really. Sometimes it takes a coach or a
parents or just a friend to say hey, you lost first round, I know it is
unfortunate. But really, look at where you are at right now; you’re playing a
tournament, a chance that so many people won’t ever have in their life. That is
the same way I see my experience as a collegiate athlete. So many people would
have dreamed to be in the spot I was, and sometimes I took that for granted.
Sometimes I hated waking up in the morning to go work out at six am and then
trudge to class and then trudge to study and then trudge to practice and then
trudge, slowly, home to eat and sleep, exhausted. But then there are moments
like clinching an ACC match, to feel the arms of your teammates surround you
with not only a desire to share in the moment but also to be there 100%
emotionally for you, whether it is the shining moment of a win or a
heartbreaking moment of a loss, your head buried in a towel, wet with tears and
frustration and sweat, saying over and over again I’m sorry, I let you guys
down, only to hear the soothing sounds of it’s okay, only to feel the love and
energy of teammates that become your fellow soldiers, your family.
The emotional highs and lows of college tennis are hard to
compare to anything other than life itself. It is the day by day that I get
asked a lot about. What is it like to be a college athlete, an interviewer once
asked me. I bit my tongue before I could respond—hard. It is hard, but it is
both challenging and rewarding, the mixture of sweat, blood, and tears, and
moments of highs so high that it takes days to float down from such successes,
such moments where you are so proud of yourself and your team that you wish you
could, as some songs capture in lyrics, “Have this moment for life.”
Day by day your schedule is packed as a college athlete. Day
by day it is hard to encapsulate the emotion of being part of a team and
fighting for a mascot, for a school, for a spirit of some sort. Yes, there are
days that you’ll wake up to run the mile run under a really fast time at seven
in the morning in barely thirty degree weather. There are times where you’ll
run stadiums, then work out, then go play tennis, and get an ice bath, then get
athletic training or physical therapy for the aches and pains that sometimes
torment your body. There are times where you’ll walk to class, sit down, and
not be able to get back up when class is over. You’ll be tired. But regardless
of how jam packed your day is, that is what makes days off or moments with the
team just for lunch or for dinner, or at home as roommates just to sit and chat
and relax so much more rewarding and fun and, well, amazing. It makes road trips
filled with laughter and deep questions and dialogue and friendship that much
more exciting, moments where you can look at a teammate and know exactly what
is running through their minds at the moment on the court next to you, and be able to talk, even with a body
gesture, to that teammates, to say I’m here, I’m here for you, and I’m not
going anywhere, you can do this. Tennis was always an individual sport for me,
where I fought my own battles emotionally and physically, where my support came
from the love and respect of my parents, but when I joined the team at FSU I
learned to let people in, to let my teammates help me with those battles, to
let my coaches help me, to put trust into people and allow myself the pleasure
to look at my teammate when it’s five all in the third set and for that
teammate to nod in a way that communicates I’m here. I’m here for you. I’ve
always been, and I always will. You can do this. So a day in the life of a
collegiate athlete can be hard sometimes. You’ll have multiple hours of
practice, like the article that the interviewer published said. You’ll also
have class responsibilities, and papers to write, and study hall to attend, and
athlete training and physical therapy and cold tub and gym and fitness and
court time and coach time and locker prep and match analysis. It’s hard to be
an athlete, the article expressed. But I feel like that article didn’t
encompass what college tennis is really about. It’s really about the people who
go through everything with you, those friends that you make that you can call
on a Wednesday evening after months of not talking and talk as if you were
having lunch with them just the other day, the coaches that will forever wish
the best for you, the memories that send chills down your arms and make you
smile, perhaps even wipe away a tear of reminiscence that you are glad was
sparked by something, something in your present that reminded you of your past.
