Inspiration for the thousands

I admit, I am a Pintrest addict. For those of you who have not yet been there, please avoid going into the wormhole that Pintrest is, as it will deprive you of all the time that you can, you know, actually be doing something. But, I’ve decided, that Pintrest for this blog in particular can actually help. I always pin things to my favorites that have to do with motivational quotes and inspiring saying. Because it’s a few days before finals week, a few days before the local Tallahassee tennis tournament where a lot of our Seminole High Performance kiddos will be competing, and because everyone has those days that need a little happiness and uplifting, here are some of my favorite quotes, with some of my thoughts alongside them, because, you know, I am an English teacher after all, and words are my thing.

Okay, so this one is a little girly to start off with, but I like it. I think this is one of the things that I try, not as eloquently, to tell students and players when they are struggling. I hear "can't" too often. If you think you can't, you won't. Dreams are dreams, but it takes a strong willed person to, instead of sitting back, pick themselves up and work towards those plans. You'll see this idea of working instead of dreaming throughout these quotes that I share-- belief is not enough. Work ethic and discipline are what make up an excelling player. 

Can't is one of the most poisonous words in tennis. It defeats you from the inside; it makes things simpler, but it also destroys what you can be. 

 So, for this next one, it's fairly straightforward. A lot of these quotes have to do with the idea that sitting on your rump complaining isn't going to get you anywhere. Sometimes I hear the typical whining about having to do fitness or having to fix an ongoing tennis problem or receiving a comment about lack of effort or attitude and I get frustrated as a coach. Partially because I think back to the moment when my mom and dad, my coaches back in the day, told me "You'll know how tough coaching you is once you have your own kids, or you coach yourself," and I nod and say to myself yes, now I know why my whining and complaining didn't do me any good. Partially because I realized that while our players can complain and moan about their problems, they don't fix them. What can I do to help fix your problem, I say. Instead of throwing a pity party, get back up and focus on something that you can control, not something that is out of your control. If you aren't playing well, play more. If you aren't winning, do more fitness, strength, practice, lessons, analysis. Tennis is a full time job for a competitive athlete, not a hobby.

    So other than the fact that Dr. Suess is awesome, this short poem addresses yet another aspect of control. You will have troubles. That's part of life. Some of these are going to be on going issues. Some of these things are going to be things that have nothing to do with tennis but affect tennis. Whatever the issues, arm yourself with that bat. Arm yourself with something that you can do to battle those problems that are individual to you. Look at that. Now even I am rhyming. :)

Like with the focus on the solution quote, the Nike quote about procrastination works in many realms, not just the court. Focus on what you can do this instant. It's great to get geared up with a SHP coach and get excited with plans and dreams and goals and hopes, but do the work that you can do today, everyday. You live in the present. Stop living in the future and work your butt of today.

I had a student once tell me-- I am not Federer. I smiled. I know that you're not Federer. You are you. And I know YOU can hit that shot. That little bit of belief made this player a much better, confident player for the rest of the day. In today's world, it's hard to avoid comparisons. There is not reason for you not to pick a role model, but focus on what you can do individually rather than emulating a person to the extent to where you lose yourself, your individualism. Be yourself-- this also means be comfortable with your game as you play it. Don't force yourself to be a hitter, for example, if you know your game is grinding. Now, this does have a little exception-- this doesn't mean that you don't work on improving your game and becoming more well rounded. BUT, it does mean that you stay true to yourself as a player, and expect yourself to perform the way you see in your dreams.

   This next quote is mostly for players that have been through struggle. That means, pretty much everyone. I have not yet met any player that has been at a point where they are giving up on tennis, and worse, on themselves. What defines us is how well we rise after falling. It is one thing to fall, metaphorically speaking, and whine like a baby about how bad it hurt to fall, but it is another thing entirely to push yourself up onto your elbows, take a deep breath, and push yourself back up. It takes a strong person and a strong support system to be able to do this. That is why I believe that tennis is a game of life, something that my parents always told me. Just like on the court when you are losing or playing badly and you have to push through that and practice even harder, get even fitter, do everything in your power to "get back up," you need to do the same when life hands you cards that aren't in your favor. 

Now, in order to be able to get back up, it'll take some helping hands from your support system to do so. This is where this next quote comes in. Sometimes it is very hard to admit that you need help. I, for one, definitely know that, being the stubborn Capricorn perfectionist that I am. But there is not need to brave the storm by yourself. You are surrounded at Seminole HP by coaches that have played the game and intimately know what it is like to be helpless. Let us help you. Even if this means bawling your eyes out and pouring your soul out about how badly you are playing, let us help you. Yes, after you speak the truth, you'll most likely hear "What is the solution," but what you will gain is a helping hand and the reassurance that you are not alone in this fight. 

Now this next one is different. It has nothing to do with fight or battles or truth. It has everything to do with humility. As much as you can fail, you can also succeed, and something that I think is very important is HOW you succeed. There is a reason why so many people admire Federer and Nadal. You see them battling out on the court, but never once will they say "Oh, I whooped that guy's butt." They will always compliment the opponent, always show confidence but never arrogance. Being a successful player means being courteous and helping others out, because success always is pinned between failures, and if you aren't nice to people when you succeed, they aren't going to be nice back when you fail. It is important to stay humble and to continue working hard even with success. It is important to continue to listen and take advice from people who led you to that success as well.    

Going back to the aspect of control, this quote not only represents wrong versus right paths, but it also represents instinct. Follow your instincts in tennis, but always make sure that you are putting in 100% into whatever you choose to follow. If you want to achieve a goal, set yourself that pathway to achieving that goal, and day by day, reach for it with hard work.  

Finally, take some time to appreciate how far you have come with your accomplishments, whether it be in tennis or in general. We get so caught up something in everything that we don't stop to think about how much we have done already-- full steam ahead is great, but also take the time to assess, to reflect. Wow, I've accomplished so much in this past year. I have become a smarter player, I am more aware of my mindset, even if I am struggling, or even if I am winning everything, I've had to get over some major battles that I've fought successfully. Sometimes it takes just a moment, eyes closed, to smile again, and to remember, very simply, that you are amazing, that you are a good person, and that you are a talented player. If you need reminding from time to time, here it is-- I'm proud of you and your accomplishments, players. 

 

 

 

 

Influences

There is a lot of talk always about role models. I Youtube videos on serving motions and footwork drills and volley racquet position to show my students all the time—watch this guy, Andy Roddick, as he serves. Watch this guy, Roger Federer, as he hits a slice. Role models are who you look up to in your life, but sometimes, it is important to just turn your head around side to side to find influences in your life, because while role models are what you strive to be, influences in your life affect your mindset, your personality, and how hard you work day to day, and influences make a large impact on your life, an impact that you only start to see when you get older and either appreciate people for what they showed you through their own actions or appreciate when you let them go as a friend or mentor, to see how much better your life and your actions become when they leave your side as a negative influence.

I told you in my recent blog about the book “How to be like Mike.” The author writes a chapter about influences—he says, “People do as people see.” It is important to surround yourself around people that not only make you happy, but people that you are willing to acknowledge to be similar to you, or what you want to be. Check to see who you are hitting with—it doesn’t matter how they play, but how much effort they put into playing. Do you want to be as disciplined as they are? Are they a good influence on your tennis? Look around at your coaches. Do you aspire to be like them? I can tell  you that I always aspired to be like my parents, and my parents were my coaches my whole life. I had the positive influence that I only felt the consequences of when I left home to go to college, because the work ethic that they instilled in me to this day I replicate on a daily basis, and often with high rewards from people that aren’t used to seeing such effort regardless the task. 

Sometimes you’ll have a negative influence in your life. These people drain you of your energy, and support actions and behaviors of yours that you are not okay with. Sometimes a positive influence in your life has to hit you upside the head to realize these things, to push you harder—a positive influence isn’t necessarily your best friend, or even a person  you like, but a person who will continue to make you work to be a better you. A negative influence may be fun, but drags you down to a level that is not a better you, and this is important in tennis and in life. A hard worker always beats talent—it might not be so right away, but work ethic and the environment around you, the influences of your coaches, your parents, your friends, make an impact on your tennis on a daily basis that a role model does not. A role model is what you aspire to be, but your surrounding influences get you there.

How to Be Like Mike

Read anything good lately?

I have. I’m reading Allegiant now, the third book in the Divergent trilogy, and if you haven’t read them yet, I suggest highly that you take your rump to a bookstore today and buy all three because they rock. But then again, I am an English teacher. And you’re a tennis player, so a dystopian text about a girl and a guy who fight for survival throughout the novel may or may not “float your boat,” if you will. BUT, let’s talk some more about books.

Books are inspiring. So are blogs. Maybe that’s why you are reading mine—you want to be inspired. I can provide that, but there is so much more in the world that can inspire you, and a lot of professional tennis players have written books that can make a world of difference in your outlook on tennis. Because, who are we kidding, if we all weren’t crazy coo-coo birds, we’d all be professional tennis players by now, right?

Obviously, you’re thinking, now, she’s going to tell me all the tennis players that have published books—Open by Andre Agassi, which is shockingly both sad and disturbing, so I don’t always suggest it, Winning Ugly by Brad Gilbert, which is a personal favorite, yada yada, but actually, I’m here to suggest, and to talk about, a book that I’ve just recently discovered, called How to Be Like Mike, which is about Michael Jordan. Yes, the basketball player. Because, at the end of the day, tennis isn’t like basketball, but, the mentality of an athlete is the same, whether it be basketball, tennis, cricket, golf, football, or hockey.

I like the concepts in this book already: how influences make a difference in athletics, or the concept that people do what people see, which makes who is your leader and who is your role model and coach important (Seminole High Performance, by the way, has the most passionate staff—we care about tennis, and nothing else. There are a lot of coaches out there that are in coaching for the wrong reasons—sometimes a means to an end, sometimes something as silly as outperforming others. But at the end of the day, what matters is who truly cares about tennis, and about kids. I know that I could write a novel about how much I care about kids, and how much I am devoted to the art of education and learning, how much of a nerd I am, and how much I adore the two things I teach, tennis and English. I could write a second and third novel about our other coaches that I work with, and it’ll be all this gushy stuff about how much of a role model they are to ME as a coach and how much I can see, day in and day out, that they truly care not only about winning but about making a good person, first and foremost, out of the player that is on the court. Whew, that was a bit of a digression...).

Other concepts in this book that I like include a chapter on leadership, which starts off with “Good leadership does not just attract followers. It produces more leaders.” As much as I can drone on about these subjects, which I plan on unpacking as I work through these concepts myself in future blogs, I suggest that you also pick up this book and see what it can do to you. A writer is always going to have their own opinions, their own style. You may like my style, but you may also really jive with the style of this author—my job, and the end of the day, is to inspire, even if that means that you pick up another author. 

The light at the end of the tunnel

Kelly* and I got to talking the other day about tennis. Shocker, I know, that one of my players wants to talk about tennis. She talked about how she was feeling like she couldn’t catch a break lately—how every tournament, she got unlucky in the first round, or didn’t play well, or the weather was too windy, or she played amazing but the girl she played was even more amazing. “But you wouldn’t know, since you were, like, amazing in college,” she mutters, almost under her breath. I stop, scrunching my eyebrows, a deep furrow developing on my forehead. “Um, yeah, about that…”

So I went on to tell her that even though I accomplished a lot in college, that accomplishment shines through the fight of challenging matches, of ten match losing streaks, of fight after fight with coaches and family, of sweat, blood, tears, and achy muscles. Never, for a moment, think that a top player hasn’t gone through pain and disappointment. It is that very disappointment that drives a good player into the battle of making themselves better, what makes a good player turn into a great player, and what turns a great player into “amazing.” I told Kelly about my ten match losing streak in college. I’ll never forget it—junior year, and I felt like the world was against me. I could not, even through fights and battles and eventually, fight wounds and battle scars, win a match. I don’t remember how it started—it seems to me that my lows always match my highs in tennis. I couldn’t tell you what triggered it either; and a lot of times, junior players also tell me that I don’t know, I just can’t win. I’m doing everything right, why is everything going wrong? And usually, my response is keep your chin up, keep working, head down, feet moving, keep working, keep moving, keep going. But Kelly’s conversation got me thinking—what on earth kept me moving when I was down? Yes of course my family and friends and loved ones and coaches told me the same things I know tell my students, but at the end of the day, I was the one who fought the battles, I was the one who saw the light at the end of the tunnel, I was the one who on that 11^th match heard that little voice in my own head, my own self, quietly protesting “No, you will not lose. You will not lose again. You will not. You will do everything that is in your power to get through this, and you can do it.” 

Minus the fact that I had a little bit of an out of body experience, what triggered that? What got through the musings of my inner self after the ninth match that kept kicking me down “You suck, you’re terrible, you can’t play for your life, why don’t you use quit, you’re useless,” got me to hear that little voice, that voice of stoic resistance? I always tell kids focus on what you can control, but when it happened to me, could I focus on what I could control? Did I follow my own advice? My thoughts in this conversation spiraled. What on earth can I say to this girl to make her feel better other than you can do it, I believe in you? 

Fight. Fight with your own brain sometimes, fight with all of your strength, mentally and physically, because believe it or not, if you fake it, that wall that you felt was impenetrable will eventually fall to your tenacity, to your willingness to not give up. I remember now—it was me who asked for more lessons after I had finished practice and fitness and training. It was me who , through my own stubbornness (yes, I am a Capricorn after all), said I will try anything, I will do anything, including run to the net at match point with a serve and volley even though I am terrified by the net, to break through this, because at the end of the day, it wasn’t about winning or losing after all, it was about beating my own self-doubt, my own negativity, my own self, in a way, that got me out to see the light at the end of the tunnel.     

*Of course, I changed the name. :)

Tennis outside of Tennis

I know, I'm getting all Plato on you all. What, do you think, is the philosophical inquisition of tennis outside of tennis? Actually, instead of sounding fancy and smart (I have a masters degree after all), I'll explain what I mean in simple terms, because, unlike what Plato thought, simple is best.

Tennis outside of tennis to me means what goes on outside of the court. Now, I could write a book on this. I could talk about fitness, I can talk about nutrition, I can talk about motivation. What I want to talk about, though, is what physically can be happening outside of the cage that is the court during a match. Often, I see a player look over to me as the coach, with either a deer-in-headlights "help" look in their eyes, or a look of "see-I-did-what-you-told-me-and-it-didn't-work-did-it." Sometimes I'll get the elusive "This-is-awesome-I'm totally-having-fun-and-kicking-butt-and-I-want-to-share-this-awesomeness-with-you-cuz-you-rock" look. Oftentimes my look back to any of these is a look that says "Stop-looking-at-me."

It's not just about looks back and forth. First of all, looks shouldn't be happening because once you are on the court, you are in the cage fight that, unfortunately for everyone outside of the match, is only your cage fight. Unfortunately again, this often doesn't happen that way. Ideally, you play against your opponent and only your opponent. You fix all the issues that happen by yourself, because tennis is an individual sport. Sometimes though, others get involved. I've seen parents yell at their own children outside of the fence. I've seen parents yell at the opponent outside of the fence. I've seen refs that make blatant errors in calls. I've been told by refs while I was playing on the court that a.) I play well (at 5-5 in the first set) b.) that the ball I hit was in but "I didn't want to overrule it" and c.) that "I heard the ball hit your shoe as it was sailing four feet out and thus it is the other players point." I've seen coaches stand behind players courts and speak to them in their own language, saying whatever comes to mind. I imagine if I asked players anywhere about horror stories about what happened during a match, often what I would hear would not be what the opponent did, but what someone outside of the court did instead.

The more I played, the more I realized how focused you needed to be on the court. The court is your cage, and as soon as you enter it, nothing outside of that cage matters, even if it takes forceful focus to keep you playing just the ball. Regardless of what happens, at the end of the day, it is you, not your mom, or your coach, or your opponent's dad, or the ref, that wins or loses a match. It is all about how you play, and if you let others get under your skin. Tennis, like most sports, requires a thick skin and a stubbornness and laser focus that many people who don't play competitively don't understand. That thick skin develops as you develop that laser focus, and experience more "crazy stories" and learn to brush it off instead. Remember how Federer got rushed by a crazed-in-love fan at a tournament? He was spooked, but after one shaky point, he zeroed in his lazer focus and continued to dominate that match. You can never predict what will happen in tennis outside of tennis, but what you can work on is developing that thick skin to combat it.  

Practice Makes Perfect

You’ve heard this tried and true title. Practice makes perfect, right? If you could hit 100 balls crosscourt, good. 1000? Better. The more you practice, the less you have to perfect things like technique in a match and focus more on placement and strategy. Ideally, every player should be practicing enough where technique is the least of their worries during a match, other than perhaps a small adjustment from time to time, like adjusting footwork or hitting heavier topspin. But what I see in matches most is mental battles more than physical. I see it all the time; on the practice court, players do fabulously. They work hard, train hard, eat well, and do everything to set themselves up right, but when they go out to a match environment, a higher level tournament, their brains eat away at the practice they’ve built up. Thoughts. “I shouldn’t be here.” “These girls/guys are too good for me.” “I have to play really well to compete with these players.” “I can’t do this.” Mental battles are the toughest—ask anyone on the pro tour, a college athlete, or anyone who competes at a high level; tennis is tough, but the mentality needed to be a tennis player is tougher. I can’t tell you I have it all figured out—when I was playing, I had my own demons to fight, my own battles to, well, battle. 

Mental strength takes as much practice as physical practice does. Putting yourself in a match play pressure environment is hard to do without playing tournaments, so the least you can do for your mental strength is to play more tournaments. With each match, whether a win or a loss, an experience and a lesson can be made. With a coach by your side, these lessons can become valuable experiences that you then bring, as practice, to your next match situation. Other mental practices that can help tennis players include working off the court on things you know you need as an individual player. I always had very little patience on the court, so off the court, I would connect puzzle pieces. Eventually I worked my way up to making 3D puzzles that took patience and time to complete—I learned how to translate patience from connecting puzzles to the court when I needed to, metaphorically speaking, connect points together to form a winning match. Other players have different issues. Some fairly universal issues include issues with confidence. Confidence is a tricky mental aspect of the game. Of course, the more you win, the more confidence you get. The catch 22- you can’t win when you don’t have enough confidence in winning. It’s a “fake it till you make it” kind of deal here—you have to go out, no matter how scared you are, with the attitude that you will beat the player on the other side. Ideally, you’ll focus on playing the ball rather than your opponent. Practicing on court through practice can give you some confidence. Another aspect of confidence includes not looking at the draw. Sometimes players over-think their opponent’s skill. Looking up your opponent is another no-no. You never know what kind of day it will be, how you will play, how they will play, and how circumstances can affect the match. Weather, something completely out of your control, can affect a match. So can an unruly call if you let it. Mental battles come down to not only practicing but also acknowledging your faults mentally and figuring out a way of dealing with these faults. If you deny that you have any mental struggles, they will never go away, and will always haunt you on the court.